Bad Music: a Celebration

[Sky]

Also I included all your picks @GARBAGE @Bad News Booty @Skyefire

Especially I Eat Cannibals, that's perfectly bad 80s bollocks

 

[King Kong Booty]

 

[Sky]

X-tReMe PoWeR - Respect and Obey Authority

I mean... come on. Fucking hell. It's a bunch of sheltered Christian cult kids rocking out on their video game instruments about how authority is awesome and you should always listen to your parents and teachers because JESUS. I can't believe any of these kids actually believes this stuff. There's no way they actually played their instruments, unlike in Video Games, where the lack of ability in playing instruments is the appeal. This is just kids singing over MIDI.

 

[Chris]

Jesus, famous rebel who was killed for disrupting, wants you to support authority unquestioningly

 

[GARBAGE]

Idk they sound like the new Public Enemy to me

 

[Sky]

Pizza Kids - We Like Pizza

As if I haven't given enough shit to children singing this thread, here it is. We Like Pizza. Every bit as cheesy as the beloved pizza of the Pizza Kids, this 2006 release somehow got a bit of interest from the Internet and attracted enough buzz to get an official "animated" video. Highlight is the one who says "I like pizza with tomato" and then everyone goes silent. Tomato haters in this song. Do not like.

 

[Sky]

Glee Cast - Baby Got Back

Do I even need to say anything? The Glee cast and rap do not go together, which is why they don't rap. In fact, it's even worse. They try to do the smoothest, acoustic-est, white people-est version of the infamous song about the female rump. And the word "try" is inappropriate here, because this arrangement was straight up stolen from this joke cover by Jonathan Coulton. They even kept the extra lines Coulton added in. I actually don't think this is funny bad anymore, it's just. Capitalism-sucks bad.

 

[King Kong Booty]

you know I really forgot all about this one...on purpose

 

[Sky]

Family Force 5 featuring Tedashii - Chainsaw

Crunkcore? A very silly genre. Christian music? Often a sign of lame music. So when you combine them into Christian Crunkcore you get Family Force 5, and from them you get this work of perverse genius. I'm pretty sure there's no actual Christian theming in this particular work of theirs, but they don't put all the Bible-thumping in their singles, they just put the most bizarre tracks out instead. I love how unlistenable this whole thing is.

 

[GARBAGE]

wow, that was extremely annoying.


have you seen this btw

 

[Sky]

Leah Kate - Twinkle Twinkle

I wish you didn't exist either, Leah. You're 30 and your parents own a radio station, you somehow manage to be the most obvious industry plant in an industry that's so stuffed full of plants it might as well be a greenhouse. And you're expecting to get the hit of the year (a couple of years ago actually lmao) by ripping off a kids song but putting naughty words in it. Otherwise, just emptiness in the form of a song.

 

[Sky]

Buck 22 and Billy Ray Cyrus - Achy Breaky 2

"The end of music is here", says this song's Genius page. This is what happens when a record producer decides to have a go at rapping himself, creating a remake/samplefest/ripoff of one of the most overplayed, tired country songs in history, with tacit approval of the original artist. None of this works, and that's the brilliance of it. Like the music video, which features Standard Hip-Hop Women Dancers twerking in the corridors of a CGI spaceship, a guitarist even when there isn't guitar playing in that part of the track, and air horns because WHY NOT

 

[Sky]

Iglesia ni Cristo - Always Submit to the Church Administration

I've covered religious slop before, but... I mean LOOK AT IT. The greatest hit of a Philippine pseudo-Christian cult is perhaps this. There's only four lyrics in this song, and there isn't even a hint of wholesome message. Just... obey a bunch of people whose collective name sounds like an executive board meeting. Somehow, even North Korean propaganda is less subtle. The lyrics don't even sound like they were meant to be sung to the tune by native speakers, let alone by Filipino children who are likely speaking English as their second or third language. And yet, they have massive concerts where real children sing it.

 

[Barry Poppins]

I'd like to nominate this song.

For obvious reasons (if you know, you know)

Also because it's just a big sloppy massive blow job to Mao Zedong and it's so fucking corny.

 

[Sky]

I'd like to nominate this song.

For obvious reasons (if you know, you know)

Also because it's just a big sloppy massive blow job to Mao Zedong and it's so fucking corny.

I can't put this up there just because of the SiIvaGunner Hong Kong 97 fusion collab. Go look it up