I'm a lot more interested in women's wrestling than I am men's. I can't explain why. But to me recently men's wrestling has just gotten stale. Maybe it's that so many people just go for black trunks and so everyone seems to run together. That's not the point. The point is that I like women's wrestling and I like talking about it. So this will be a thread where I review random women's matches.

This will be infrequently updated but will have links to my previous reviews.

Awesome

Good

Nice

Meh

Bad

Awful

Torture (= bad match thread Red Matches)

reserved for a future stats post

Once again, there is a Form, and I will put it in a Wheel and check it periodically.

REQUEST ONLY HERE

To kick this thread off we're heading to the original Kawasaki Stadium for a match in which Combat Toyoda is set to retire. And it's a hell of a way to go out isn't it? An exploding barbed wire deathmatch where you're defending your double championship, that isn't even the only barbed wire boom-fest on the show! Nearly 30 years ago, this match was. Has it been topped?

Interviews that establish this as a face/face respect match, as I suppose it should be, even considering they're going into a ring of explosive spiky metal. It's always a bit nerve wracking to watch someone get in the ring for a barbed wire match. No sign of trepidation in either of these two; instead, it's the commentators, and the fans, that seem hushed and concerned for what could happen. They start teasing overtures toward the ropes early and, of course, Combat's power means she's on the front foot for the shoving matches. Kudo tries to fight back with mat stuff and kicks but Combat is just like LOL FUCK YOU and outmuscles her. The teasing soon develops to Kudo's face being perilously close to the barbed wire.

Kudo manages to get her opponent to the mat but of course it doesn't last. From what little I've seen of Megumi Kudo's matches her thing seems to be Just Not Dying Ever rather than having some sort of physical advantage. This is most natural when facing someone who looks tough. First pin attempt, surprisingly, goes to her off a slam. She soon works out that she's got to take out the legs, sends Combat stumbling painfully close to the barbed wire, but never quite reaching it. I bit so hard on that tease. We almost get a pop-up powerbomb too. It's at this point I start to understand the "jazz is about the notes they're not playing" meme. This entire match has been teasing things that don't actually happen, and I am thoroughly sports entertained.

We finally get a explosion soon after, though, as Kudo rolls away from an assault but eats a dropkick in the other direction, into one of those ropes. Even Combat seems a bit surprised at what's happened. AIRPLANE SPIN!! That pops me, even more than the Rack Attack that comes after. In fact, most of what Combat is doing is wrecking the back that has been, yaknow, exploded just now. Sick little armdrag counter by Kudo, who soon dodges a charge to make Combat hit explosion number two! There's a little tense moment because the only one who believes Combat is getting up is Kudo. It feels even more tense as Kudo slaps on a sleeper and chokes the life out of her opponent. It's probably low on the "we're witnessing a murder" scale of deathmatches, but it has a better effect than, say, MASADA vs. Spidar Boodrow. Remember that? Horrible, horrible times.

Kudo tries to go for a whip across the ring but Combat is just wrecked and collapses.. Kudome Driver (double underhook tombstone) teased. Wild how that's not the most fucked-up neck-destroying move in her arsenal, huh? Combat whips her into a rope that's already been exploded, meaning she's just stuck to that barbed wire and holy fuck that cannot be nice. Power being unleashed but Kudo keeps pulling stuff out of nowhere. And kicking out, of course. Two Thunder Fire Powerbombs in a row doesn't even do it! Combat teases doing one into the barbed wire, but thankfully for Kudo's back she rolls through and to safety.

Kudo teases a German suplex into the barbed wire, and well, wouldn't that just hurt you more? We find out as she goes for a charge, and Combat catches her into one of her own! Yeah, neither woman appears to be getting up lmao. Combat got most of it but this still looks messy enough to get shots of concerned faces in the crowd. But they're fightin', they're tryin' to stand. Crowd is chanting for the monster heel! That's how you know this is a great retirement match. The real question is who will have enough left to get up and finish this. It's Megumi Kudo, though, who does a sick underhook powerbomb for two. She can't stand up afterward. She's stumbling about, but SOMEHOW manages to lift Combat up for the Kudome Driver... ONLY TWO??!? Oh no, she's going to have to pull out the Kudome Valentine. And somehow she lifts Combat up again for it! FUuuuuuck.

We all get some time to somehow, some way, process what we've seen. Both women are getting medical attention, with Combat even having to be carried partway to the back by Onita. (Oh yeah, she came out to Wild Thing, I forgot to mention.) Hayabusa and Terry Funk probably sit in the back, wondering how in the fuck they're going to match that. Clip from the press conference of both women, on their hands and knees, crying for each other. I mean... understandable. And Combat Toyoda decides she's going to never break her retirement and instead open a restaurant where all the retired joshi stars go. It's better than putting your body through that again.

Had impossible expectations to live up to and yet somehow lived up to them. It's honestly rare that I get such a thrill from a match. It's refreshing. 90s joshi: has anyone ever beaten it?

Fuck it, I want to see more Combat Toyoda. In terms of joshi monsters, I feel she's been a bit overshadowed because you never really hear her talked about except in terms of her connection to Megumi Kudo. So let's go a few months back in time, to the Chiba Park Gymnasium, where she matches up against fellow tough woman (albeit one with a far longer career) Aja Kong in a "who can throw hands harder" match. It'll also be interesting to see Aja when she could move. This one is a bit divisive according to the couple of reviews I've seen, so we'll see what I make of it.

Combat's got the advantage right away, flying in with a lariat. TO THE OUTSIDE we go as a bit of bashing Aja's face into shit seems to have been cut. Combat claims the tin can and brains Aja with it. She soon gets tired of watching her opponent stumble out and goes for a dive, but unfortunately Aja's got the can now! Into the chairs we go and Combat has been opened up. She's officially more broken than a Japanese table (which gets used next). Aja reckons Combat is taking to long so drags her back in with headbutts. I now observe that Combat's bloodied face makes her look like a 70s glam rocker as Aja beats the shit out of her and piledrives her for two.

I legitimately believe Combat Toyoda was the only woman who could do a realistic fired-up no-sell to an Aja Kong headbutt. Or, indeed, an Aja Kong splash for two. Now Combat's pissed off and she does a splash of her own! Now we get the exchange of standing shoulderblocks, but it feels like it's earned so you won't hear my usual complaints. Double down off a clothesline. Neither back suplex nor top rope elbow can finish Combat, so Aja lines up the Uraken... Combat ducks and delivers a German suplex right on Aja's fuckin' head. I am not exaggerating. Combat suddenly has the delusion that she's a high flyer and goes for dropkicks. Hey, whatever works.

Combat blocks a Uraken but can't get her double underhook move off, so she just does a gnarly looking sitout splash. These two are NOT protecting each other and I am kind of into it. URAKEN outtanowhere! Counter into counter, German suplex into URAKEN for the win for Aja! They respect each other, they're both tough as fuck.

I imagine it's kind of rare to see a woman of Combat Toyoda's style be the agile one, and I don't mean that as a knock. I mean it as "this is really cool and more people should see it". Sub-ten minutes but crams those full.

Thanks to the user who suggested this one. WWE's Asuka: she's great, isn't she? She's a rare case where you can say that just considering her WWE work, without having to pretend you've seen her Japan matches. (Iyo is the other one.) But those Japan matches? They're something special. They're where you get to see has-pissed-off-the-entire-industry-but-they-have-to-work-with-her-because-she's-undeniable mode Kana. Who's holding her own self-produced show and selling out Korakuen. In her second singles match against fellow living legend Meiko Satomura. The undiluted awesome required to do all this is something only a few could achieve.

And for a bit of added extra-ness in this already extra event, Kana's played to the ring by some guy on a shamisen. He's shredding it the fuck up. Main Event Kana's face paint is second to none. Bell rings, and we're all under blue light and the shamisen guy is back and I'm already in. The feeling out proces seems to sync to the instrument, and I swear some of Meiko's strikes are timed perfectly to the plucks. And I swear the strains seem to get louder as Kana uses an armbar. These two make the grappling for position look so smooth and yet so legitimately. Meiko's strategy seems to be wrecking Kana's legs. The shamisen's strings seem to snap back as Meiko snaps out of a leg lock. I get the feeling this match would be somehow better if I were stoned.

Kana does a stretch muffler, which seems counter-intuitive to me as a move. Are you not just crushing your own head? Crowd audibly gasps as Kana slaps her opponent before she does a nasty German suplex. Meiko responds by kicking Kana's head right the fuck off. After a jumping uppercut we go right back to these two trying to give each other concussions. The shamisen gets tense as Kana stands over a fallen Meiko. Meiko tries an enzuigiri but Kana CATCHES IT and does a full grapevined ankle lock. Did Kurt Angle ever do that in any of his matches? That seems like something they'd have thought of. Rare footage of Meiko Satomura being vulnerable and expressing pain while her leg and neck are being wrenched.

First pin attempt of the match is something like seven, eight minutes in off Kana's German. See, you don't need to keep going for pins. Growing intensity on the shamisen as Kana tries a sleeper, but Meiko lifts out into a back suplex. Meiko finally gets her enzuigiri off for a double down. Some murderous forearms being thrown about. Meiko's getting to be a dominant force for a bit and goes right for the head in everything she does. Cartwheel kick, you don't see that every day (unless you watch a Meiko Satomura match every day). Kana tries to follow Meiko to the top, gets knocked off, but recovers enough to get her knees up. Now another armbar, and the shamisen picks up again. Just in time for a big sleeper in the middle of the ring! Meiko does get her rope break but Kana's totally on top for now.

Murder kicks and somehow only the second pin attempt all match. Meiko finally ducks a kick and puts on a sleeper, and now the shamisen is in "holy shit danger" mode. Meiko's in full murder mode, Kana won't quit, and she starts kicking out of all Meiko's stuff including a Death Valley Driver. The musical accompaniment really sells Kana's struggle as she tries to get out of an armbar. And yet she refuses to give. Frog splash can't do it. Enzuigiri can't do it. Another Death Valley Driver teased and now Kana's on top and controlling the arm! Meiko tries to wriggle up but Kana's converted into a triangle choke and Meiko's out!

Holy fuck. A really strong match technically, with some superb work from both, but the atmosphere takes this to an absolute other level. You think the shamisen's going to get distracting, but it only keeps your focus on the action. This really is wrestling at the intersection between combat sport and performance that they always talk about.