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TNA World Heavyweight Campion: Kurt Angle-17/6/07
TNA X-Division Champions: Samoa Joe-21/6/07
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Samoa Joe-15/7/07
TNA HARD JUSTICE
AUGUST 12TH, 2007
IMPACT ZONE
Horrible intro video covering that last horrible month of TV.
Pacman shows up in a hummer with his crew.
Mike and DW spend a good 5 minutes running down the card and then throw it to a Pacman video talking about what controversial person he is.
Match#1 Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt vs The Motor City Machine Guns vs Christopher Daniels & Senshi w/Elix Skipper.
Well, ok hell yeah. Great opening flurry from everyone going wild as hell with anything cool they can think of. The fans side with Shelley right away, and basically turn the Guns face as they boo the hell out of any offence on them, and cheer for anything they do. XXX drag Lethal to the floor and slam him on the concrete and feed him to Sabin, and we get a wonderful little Guns control seg before Ki blind tags in and boots the crap out of Jay himself with some nasty work. Daniels joins and XXX also get a control seg beating the hell out of our little hero. Daniels looks far better in this role than the last few months, and it's a welcome sight. Jay makes a super fun comeback and tags Sonjay in for a brief hot tag before it all breaks down and we get our chaos as is the norm. Jay hits a sick tope as Shelley has Sonjay in a crab hold on the outside, and he takes his damn head off. A big dive train follows, and Skipper takes Sabin out with the rope walk rana. Everyone else gets back in and goes wild again with dives from all 6 corners in a sick moment. The Guns swarm Jay and beat the shit out of him and hit the Rush, but Dutt saves from nowhere. They take him out, but Ki comes off the top with the double stomp to kill Sabin. XXX BREAK OUT THE ODE TO THE BULLDOGS BUT WITH KI HITTING THE DOUBLE STOMP ON SHELLEY AND DANIELS HITTING A DVD ON DUTT TO SEND HIM ON TOP OF SHELLEY RIGHT AFTER. JESUS CHRIST. That gets broken up as well, but XXX refuse to die and keep fighting everyone, but Jay shoves Daniels into Ki and rolls him up to pull the win out.
***
Post match, Jay and Daniels shove each other and have to be pulled apart.
In the back. JB finds Karen and new bald dude kissing and drinking wine on a couch.
Before the next match, Raven says he's willing to accept Kaz back and forgive all if he shakes his hand. Kaz shakes it, but he hits them all with cane shots before they can get to him.
Match#2 Raven w/Serotonin vs Kaz
Kaz hits a big dive onto the goons and beats their asses and makes fools of them, But Raven hits him with a dropkick and White Russians him into a the guardrail to take over, and he hits another one to hurt him worse. RAVEN CLIMBS KAZ'S SHOULDERS AND DOES A REALLY NICE LOOKING VICTORY ROLL. MY GOD. Raven keeps beating on him and looks far better than he has in a year plus as he's hitting hard and moving well, and it warms my heart and then some. Kaz is a good FIP getting his ass handed to him and taking all the shots as hard as he can, so props for that. He comes back with tons of fire and his offence is actually perfect for someone like Raven to eat. The ghouls try to help, but they get taken out like the losers they are. Kaz kills Havoc with a sweet springboard Rana, but he walks into a cane shot to the face. Raven throws him back in. He survives a little and hits a running boot out of nowhere to win.
**1/2
In the back, JB tells Kurt what happened earlier, and Kurt says this is menopause. He's in shock that she's drinking because she doesn't do that. He asks if he's younger than him or if he has gold medals. JB isn't sure, so Kurt runs off to find out.
Hype for Rhino/Storm. The highlight is Storm making fun of the drinking problems by taking a drink and saying he's fine, so what's the problem.
The ring has a ton of beer bottles around it and a table in the middle set up with more drinks and chairs.
Match#3 James Storm w/Ms Jackie vs Rhino (Bar Room Brawl)
Rhino throws a chair at Storm on the ramp and brawls with in the crowd, and they have another tremendous hate filled fight with some sick as hell strikes. They go all over the Zone and break out some new places to fight to keep it different, and it feels like a perfect way to show how badly these two hate each other. Storm gets chucked through a wall and leaves a massive hole in it. They fight back to ringside where they use the bar setup, AND RHINO DRINKS BEFORE HE HITS STORM. OH NO. He sprays it on Jackie as she's even trying to tell him not to do it. He goes wild and keeps spraying her and drinking some of it himself, and he gets more and more fucked up as he does it. There's a toilet sitting in front of the announce booth in a wonderful TNA moment. Storm gets a crutch and hits him with it to take over and suplexes him on the ramp. They keep fighting and Rhino is able to backdrop him through a table to get some space and beats him down. He walks off and gets a ladder, and DW makes a don't operate heavy equipment gag as he picks it up. Bless. Jackie gets in to save and helps Storm take back over and throw Rhino into the ladder on the outside. Storm beats him up with a trash can and wreaks his brain. He brains him with a chair and uses the conchairto to knock him out cold, but drunk Rhino just gets back up from it, but he eats a superkick to knock him back down, AND STORM BREAKS THE BEER BOTTLE RIGHT OVER THE BACK OF HIS HEAD TO FINALLY KILL HIM AND PIN HIM TO WIN.
**3/4
in the back, Ron Killings returns from the dead to rant about how much Pacman sucks, and how everyone should know who he is. This publicly stunt is about to go to hell.
Mike and DW kill time by talking about Kurt and Joe as the ring is being cleaned up.
Match#4 LAX vs Voodoo Kin Mafia w/Roxxi
The fans now love LAX, and even DW talks about how you can't help but love how they do things in the ring in spite of the evil things they do out of it. Ci takes some big bumps to start as he smashes his body into the buckles as Kip hurls him into them, and he splatters himself on each shot. BG gets in and is actually trying hard as it's PPV, and Ci dies for him to help him out. They work his back for a while, and the crowd gets hotter and hotter for Ci to fight back, and once he does they lose it in happiness. The big man dives over the ropes to take VKM out and throws them around with ease, and Ci comes back to life to help him out. He sets BG up for the Border Toss, but Roxxi throws powder in his eyes and Kip hits the fammasser to win. FUCK. No wait, Héctor Guerrero leaves the booth on the otherside and tells the ref about it, and the match is restarted. Ci rolls Kip up to win quick smart, and the old cunt kicks out right on 3. FUCKING DIE.
**
Post match, Ci and Hernandez are very confused, but seem to thank him in their own way and walk away.
In the back, EY talks about being beat up as a kid by bullies and teachers, and how he's been drinking his milk now. Kurt walk on and says he couldn't find Karen, and asks JB if he's with her now, and JB is confused. Kurt asks EY if he's her new boy toy, and EY says Karen is out of hie league and that new guy is way better looking than him. Kurt freaks out again and leaves to find them.
Match#5 Eric Young vs Robert Roode w/Ms Brooks (Tar and Feathers Match)
Same opening as the last 10000000 times they met this year. Roode takes over the same way he always does with Brooks' help, and his control goes the exact same fucking way it always goddamn does, EY fights back and Roode cuts him off and cheats with Brass Knucks to win.
1/4*
Post match, they go to tar EY, but Gail saves him. She gets attacked as well, but Roode accidentally punches Brooks and knocks her out. EY gets up and says she's going to get it now, and he tars and feathers her for all her sins. PLEASE MOVE ON NOW.
Hype for Black Reign/Harris
In the back, Harris says he knows Dustin better than anyone, and he was a friend. He took no one spot as he earned it, and Dustin lost his due to his own fault. He's sick of hasbeens like him getting in the way of his future.
Dustin attacks him before the bell.
Match#6 Chris Harris vs Black Reign
He looks SO awful and fat, and given what we know now about the drugs and booze, this is all sad shit. His strikes look terrible as hell as they're weak and bad looking. He busts Harris open with something and he gets a massive gusher pissing blood all over the floor. Dustin keeps throwing awful shots for a while, and only Harris' amazing bumps and selling can make it watchable. Dustin knocks one referee out and then kill another shortly after, and basically eats Harris alive in one of the worst murders of a wrestling career before our eyes. Also, this is done is near silence as the fans are not pleased, and hey who could blame them. Reign chokes Harris with the chain from the cuffs until Hebner finally comes out and DQ's him.
LOLTNA
Post match, Reign handcuffs him to the ropes and punches him for a while, and attacks blackshirts when they try to help. He get a hammer with a blade on the end of it and hits Harris in the face with it. Kaz, Jay and Dutt run down to make the save.
Rest in Peace, Chris Harris' career. 2002-2007.
Hype for 3D/Steiners.
In the back, Bubba says this was about respect but now they piss on it. Scotty should have stayed in the two bit hospital because that's where he's going tonight. They're going to put them out of their misery tonight. They are both out of shape losers. They'll prove they're the biggest bitches in pro wrestling.
Match#7 Team 3D vs The Steiner Brothers
Weirdly we start off with 3D taking over on Rick and isolating him, but then he comes back with some a suplex and Soctty helps take them out and stand tall for a while, Odd way to do this, but whatever. Scotty beats Bubba up and looks very slow and tired, but given he nearly died, i won't be an asshole about it. He beats D-Von up as well, and then Bubba grabs his arm and drops over the ropes to take him out, and 3D go to work. They give us a fine but sort of lazy control seg as they're not outright killing him despite actually being motivated for the first time in years. Rick gets the hot tag and slowly drops them on their skulls in a funny scene. Things break down and all the classics are hit in slow place as this match is being wrestled in mud. SCOTTY HITS D-VON WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING FRANKENSTEINER. WOOOOOO The Steiner's then break out the Steiner Bulldog to beat D-Von.
*1/2
In the back, Angle complains to Dr. Nash about his marriage falling apart and cries a ton. Nash asks JB if he saw it, and JB laughs and mocks what he saw, Kurt is still very sad and mad, so Nash slaps him and yells at him to snap out of it. HE'S A HERO DAMN IT. YOU'RE MY HERO and starts yelling EYE OF THE TIGER as Kurt groans into a pillow.
In the ring, Mike formally introduces Pacman to the crowd, and DW talks about his resume. Mike asks why he's joined wrestling, and Pacman says he's always wanted to do this and he's a trendsetter like TNA is. He wants to show people he's the best team player who ever lived. Truth now comes out as Pacman stares him down. Truth says he's sickened to hear him say he's a team player when he's in the snake pit. Wrestling is not a team sport it's about individual and me, myself and i. In wrestling no one has your back, and he's got his ass in a sling. Truth brings up the contract stating he can't be touched, and it pretty much KILLS it all. The fans chant "He's a bitch" at him, and Truth says he would rather shave a tigers ass than fight him. On the flipside there's a locker-room waiting to bust his ass, and he's on the top of it. He better watch his ass. Pacman says he talks a lot, but he walks the walk and there's nothing but space between them. Truth comes down and goes to fight, but blackshirts tackle him because, well duh. Pacman says he'll see him later. Well, that sucked.
Hype for the cage match.
In the back, Christian rants about this stupid match, and how if AJ bleeds he's going to hold Abyss responsible for it. No blood will go down his gorgeous head, and he's going to get his title shot. AJ is confused and brings out a pack of band-aids and says he can't bleed. Tomko grabs his arm and says these stop the bleeding, they don't prevent it. DEAD. AJ says he's going to follow Cage out of the cage.
In the back, someone has attacked Pacman.
During the intros, Christan and the fellas attack Abyss before the faces can save him. Test runs down and looks bloated and hobbled even trying to move.
Match#8 The Christian Collation vs Abyss, Andrew Martin & Sting (Doomsaday Chamber of Blood)
Test throws some bad looking strikes and looks awful as he's eaten every steroid that D-Von didn't. Sting finally shows up in the dark and hits Tomko with a chair shot to the face and he's busted open. In the ring, Abyss does his thing to AJ, and we get another festival of amazing Styles bumping for all of it. AJ HITS THE RUNNING DIVE THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR TO TAKE ABYSS OUT IN REVENGE. . Everyone fights in the ring and Test looks dreadful fighting Cage, but our guy takes big bumps and tries his best to help his old pal out. We cit away to Pacman being taken away in an ambulance. We come back to the heels in control and Sting locked out of the cage. The heels get the bag of Abyss' glass and cut him wide open and they murder Test as well. Sting climbs up with wire cutters and takes some of the wire off and finally get in, but the heels beat the fuck out of him as well with a chair, and it's a sick bloody beating and the best shit this show has given us in an hour. AJ and Cage hit frog splashes on Abyss for a massive near fall. Cage and AJ try to climb out as they promised, but AJ is stopped as Cage is able to get out. AJ gets beaten to shit by the faces and bloodied as Tomko is taken out. Abyss kills AJ with the BHS on the glass to win.
**
Hype for the main event.
Joe makes his intro with the Polynesian dancers and it's a fantastic callback to far better times.
Karen comes out with her new boyfriend to sit at ringside
Match#9 Kurt Angle (c) vs Samoa Joe (c) (TNA Worlds Heavyweight Championship-TNA X-Division Championship-TNA World Tag Team Championships-IWGP Worlds Championship-WINNER TAKES ALL)
Standard Joe vs Angle start with Joe overpowering him and Kurt getting pissed as a result. it would be cool if this was 2006 and not 11 months after this fucking feud started and has been milked to death. We then move to comedy as Joe pulls Kurt's tights down to show his ass and everyone laughs at him, and like enough is enough. Karen then throws wine in his face when he gets too close, and Joe beats him up in classic fashion. It's good because Joe is still good, but it's nothing new in any respect and it's not worth writing thousands of words about. Kurt of course fires back with a gross headdrop German and some uppercuts because changing things is scary and wrong, and he would never do such a thing. They then trade the same stuff as always, suplexes, lariats, powerslams and slaps, finisher counters. THEE WHOLE DEAL. Joe hits the Muscle Buster and Kurt kicks out as finishers are't real as well know. Kurt takes out the ref on accident and Joe gets him in the choke and has it won, but yeah ref is dead. Karen jumps the rail with a chair and calls joe over for it, but she pulls it away as reaches it and laughs at him. Kurt chop blocks Joe and smacks him in the face with the title to win and kill Joe off for good.
3/4*
Post match, Kurt and Karen hug as the boyfriend claps for them, so i guess Kurt is into SOME stuff. Hey, good for him, i'm not judging.
Anyway, very awful show for the most part and a true showing of just how awful TNA has gotten in the last few months.
TNA X-Division Champions: Samoa Joe-21/6/07
TNA World Tag Team Champions: Samoa Joe-15/7/07
TNA HARD JUSTICE
AUGUST 12TH, 2007
IMPACT ZONE
Horrible intro video covering that last horrible month of TV.
Pacman shows up in a hummer with his crew.
Mike and DW spend a good 5 minutes running down the card and then throw it to a Pacman video talking about what controversial person he is.
Match#1 Jay Lethal & Sonjay Dutt vs The Motor City Machine Guns vs Christopher Daniels & Senshi w/Elix Skipper.
Well, ok hell yeah. Great opening flurry from everyone going wild as hell with anything cool they can think of. The fans side with Shelley right away, and basically turn the Guns face as they boo the hell out of any offence on them, and cheer for anything they do. XXX drag Lethal to the floor and slam him on the concrete and feed him to Sabin, and we get a wonderful little Guns control seg before Ki blind tags in and boots the crap out of Jay himself with some nasty work. Daniels joins and XXX also get a control seg beating the hell out of our little hero. Daniels looks far better in this role than the last few months, and it's a welcome sight. Jay makes a super fun comeback and tags Sonjay in for a brief hot tag before it all breaks down and we get our chaos as is the norm. Jay hits a sick tope as Shelley has Sonjay in a crab hold on the outside, and he takes his damn head off. A big dive train follows, and Skipper takes Sabin out with the rope walk rana. Everyone else gets back in and goes wild again with dives from all 6 corners in a sick moment. The Guns swarm Jay and beat the shit out of him and hit the Rush, but Dutt saves from nowhere. They take him out, but Ki comes off the top with the double stomp to kill Sabin. XXX BREAK OUT THE ODE TO THE BULLDOGS BUT WITH KI HITTING THE DOUBLE STOMP ON SHELLEY AND DANIELS HITTING A DVD ON DUTT TO SEND HIM ON TOP OF SHELLEY RIGHT AFTER. JESUS CHRIST. That gets broken up as well, but XXX refuse to die and keep fighting everyone, but Jay shoves Daniels into Ki and rolls him up to pull the win out.
***
Post match, Jay and Daniels shove each other and have to be pulled apart.
In the back. JB finds Karen and new bald dude kissing and drinking wine on a couch.
Before the next match, Raven says he's willing to accept Kaz back and forgive all if he shakes his hand. Kaz shakes it, but he hits them all with cane shots before they can get to him.
Match#2 Raven w/Serotonin vs Kaz
Kaz hits a big dive onto the goons and beats their asses and makes fools of them, But Raven hits him with a dropkick and White Russians him into a the guardrail to take over, and he hits another one to hurt him worse. RAVEN CLIMBS KAZ'S SHOULDERS AND DOES A REALLY NICE LOOKING VICTORY ROLL. MY GOD. Raven keeps beating on him and looks far better than he has in a year plus as he's hitting hard and moving well, and it warms my heart and then some. Kaz is a good FIP getting his ass handed to him and taking all the shots as hard as he can, so props for that. He comes back with tons of fire and his offence is actually perfect for someone like Raven to eat. The ghouls try to help, but they get taken out like the losers they are. Kaz kills Havoc with a sweet springboard Rana, but he walks into a cane shot to the face. Raven throws him back in. He survives a little and hits a running boot out of nowhere to win.
**1/2
In the back, JB tells Kurt what happened earlier, and Kurt says this is menopause. He's in shock that she's drinking because she doesn't do that. He asks if he's younger than him or if he has gold medals. JB isn't sure, so Kurt runs off to find out.
Hype for Rhino/Storm. The highlight is Storm making fun of the drinking problems by taking a drink and saying he's fine, so what's the problem.
The ring has a ton of beer bottles around it and a table in the middle set up with more drinks and chairs.
Match#3 James Storm w/Ms Jackie vs Rhino (Bar Room Brawl)
Rhino throws a chair at Storm on the ramp and brawls with in the crowd, and they have another tremendous hate filled fight with some sick as hell strikes. They go all over the Zone and break out some new places to fight to keep it different, and it feels like a perfect way to show how badly these two hate each other. Storm gets chucked through a wall and leaves a massive hole in it. They fight back to ringside where they use the bar setup, AND RHINO DRINKS BEFORE HE HITS STORM. OH NO. He sprays it on Jackie as she's even trying to tell him not to do it. He goes wild and keeps spraying her and drinking some of it himself, and he gets more and more fucked up as he does it. There's a toilet sitting in front of the announce booth in a wonderful TNA moment. Storm gets a crutch and hits him with it to take over and suplexes him on the ramp. They keep fighting and Rhino is able to backdrop him through a table to get some space and beats him down. He walks off and gets a ladder, and DW makes a don't operate heavy equipment gag as he picks it up. Bless. Jackie gets in to save and helps Storm take back over and throw Rhino into the ladder on the outside. Storm beats him up with a trash can and wreaks his brain. He brains him with a chair and uses the conchairto to knock him out cold, but drunk Rhino just gets back up from it, but he eats a superkick to knock him back down, AND STORM BREAKS THE BEER BOTTLE RIGHT OVER THE BACK OF HIS HEAD TO FINALLY KILL HIM AND PIN HIM TO WIN.
**3/4
in the back, Ron Killings returns from the dead to rant about how much Pacman sucks, and how everyone should know who he is. This publicly stunt is about to go to hell.
Mike and DW kill time by talking about Kurt and Joe as the ring is being cleaned up.
Match#4 LAX vs Voodoo Kin Mafia w/Roxxi
The fans now love LAX, and even DW talks about how you can't help but love how they do things in the ring in spite of the evil things they do out of it. Ci takes some big bumps to start as he smashes his body into the buckles as Kip hurls him into them, and he splatters himself on each shot. BG gets in and is actually trying hard as it's PPV, and Ci dies for him to help him out. They work his back for a while, and the crowd gets hotter and hotter for Ci to fight back, and once he does they lose it in happiness. The big man dives over the ropes to take VKM out and throws them around with ease, and Ci comes back to life to help him out. He sets BG up for the Border Toss, but Roxxi throws powder in his eyes and Kip hits the fammasser to win. FUCK. No wait, Héctor Guerrero leaves the booth on the otherside and tells the ref about it, and the match is restarted. Ci rolls Kip up to win quick smart, and the old cunt kicks out right on 3. FUCKING DIE.
**
Post match, Ci and Hernandez are very confused, but seem to thank him in their own way and walk away.
In the back, EY talks about being beat up as a kid by bullies and teachers, and how he's been drinking his milk now. Kurt walk on and says he couldn't find Karen, and asks JB if he's with her now, and JB is confused. Kurt asks EY if he's her new boy toy, and EY says Karen is out of hie league and that new guy is way better looking than him. Kurt freaks out again and leaves to find them.
Match#5 Eric Young vs Robert Roode w/Ms Brooks (Tar and Feathers Match)
Same opening as the last 10000000 times they met this year. Roode takes over the same way he always does with Brooks' help, and his control goes the exact same fucking way it always goddamn does, EY fights back and Roode cuts him off and cheats with Brass Knucks to win.
1/4*
Post match, they go to tar EY, but Gail saves him. She gets attacked as well, but Roode accidentally punches Brooks and knocks her out. EY gets up and says she's going to get it now, and he tars and feathers her for all her sins. PLEASE MOVE ON NOW.
Hype for Black Reign/Harris
In the back, Harris says he knows Dustin better than anyone, and he was a friend. He took no one spot as he earned it, and Dustin lost his due to his own fault. He's sick of hasbeens like him getting in the way of his future.
Dustin attacks him before the bell.
Match#6 Chris Harris vs Black Reign
He looks SO awful and fat, and given what we know now about the drugs and booze, this is all sad shit. His strikes look terrible as hell as they're weak and bad looking. He busts Harris open with something and he gets a massive gusher pissing blood all over the floor. Dustin keeps throwing awful shots for a while, and only Harris' amazing bumps and selling can make it watchable. Dustin knocks one referee out and then kill another shortly after, and basically eats Harris alive in one of the worst murders of a wrestling career before our eyes. Also, this is done is near silence as the fans are not pleased, and hey who could blame them. Reign chokes Harris with the chain from the cuffs until Hebner finally comes out and DQ's him.
LOLTNA
Post match, Reign handcuffs him to the ropes and punches him for a while, and attacks blackshirts when they try to help. He get a hammer with a blade on the end of it and hits Harris in the face with it. Kaz, Jay and Dutt run down to make the save.
Rest in Peace, Chris Harris' career. 2002-2007.
Hype for 3D/Steiners.
In the back, Bubba says this was about respect but now they piss on it. Scotty should have stayed in the two bit hospital because that's where he's going tonight. They're going to put them out of their misery tonight. They are both out of shape losers. They'll prove they're the biggest bitches in pro wrestling.
Match#7 Team 3D vs The Steiner Brothers
Weirdly we start off with 3D taking over on Rick and isolating him, but then he comes back with some a suplex and Soctty helps take them out and stand tall for a while, Odd way to do this, but whatever. Scotty beats Bubba up and looks very slow and tired, but given he nearly died, i won't be an asshole about it. He beats D-Von up as well, and then Bubba grabs his arm and drops over the ropes to take him out, and 3D go to work. They give us a fine but sort of lazy control seg as they're not outright killing him despite actually being motivated for the first time in years. Rick gets the hot tag and slowly drops them on their skulls in a funny scene. Things break down and all the classics are hit in slow place as this match is being wrestled in mud. SCOTTY HITS D-VON WITH THE MOTHERFUCKING FRANKENSTEINER. WOOOOOO The Steiner's then break out the Steiner Bulldog to beat D-Von.
*1/2
In the back, Angle complains to Dr. Nash about his marriage falling apart and cries a ton. Nash asks JB if he saw it, and JB laughs and mocks what he saw, Kurt is still very sad and mad, so Nash slaps him and yells at him to snap out of it. HE'S A HERO DAMN IT. YOU'RE MY HERO and starts yelling EYE OF THE TIGER as Kurt groans into a pillow.
In the ring, Mike formally introduces Pacman to the crowd, and DW talks about his resume. Mike asks why he's joined wrestling, and Pacman says he's always wanted to do this and he's a trendsetter like TNA is. He wants to show people he's the best team player who ever lived. Truth now comes out as Pacman stares him down. Truth says he's sickened to hear him say he's a team player when he's in the snake pit. Wrestling is not a team sport it's about individual and me, myself and i. In wrestling no one has your back, and he's got his ass in a sling. Truth brings up the contract stating he can't be touched, and it pretty much KILLS it all. The fans chant "He's a bitch" at him, and Truth says he would rather shave a tigers ass than fight him. On the flipside there's a locker-room waiting to bust his ass, and he's on the top of it. He better watch his ass. Pacman says he talks a lot, but he walks the walk and there's nothing but space between them. Truth comes down and goes to fight, but blackshirts tackle him because, well duh. Pacman says he'll see him later. Well, that sucked.
Hype for the cage match.
In the back, Christian rants about this stupid match, and how if AJ bleeds he's going to hold Abyss responsible for it. No blood will go down his gorgeous head, and he's going to get his title shot. AJ is confused and brings out a pack of band-aids and says he can't bleed. Tomko grabs his arm and says these stop the bleeding, they don't prevent it. DEAD. AJ says he's going to follow Cage out of the cage.
In the back, someone has attacked Pacman.
During the intros, Christan and the fellas attack Abyss before the faces can save him. Test runs down and looks bloated and hobbled even trying to move.
Match#8 The Christian Collation vs Abyss, Andrew Martin & Sting (Doomsaday Chamber of Blood)
Test throws some bad looking strikes and looks awful as he's eaten every steroid that D-Von didn't. Sting finally shows up in the dark and hits Tomko with a chair shot to the face and he's busted open. In the ring, Abyss does his thing to AJ, and we get another festival of amazing Styles bumping for all of it. AJ HITS THE RUNNING DIVE THROUGH THE OPEN DOOR TO TAKE ABYSS OUT IN REVENGE. . Everyone fights in the ring and Test looks dreadful fighting Cage, but our guy takes big bumps and tries his best to help his old pal out. We cit away to Pacman being taken away in an ambulance. We come back to the heels in control and Sting locked out of the cage. The heels get the bag of Abyss' glass and cut him wide open and they murder Test as well. Sting climbs up with wire cutters and takes some of the wire off and finally get in, but the heels beat the fuck out of him as well with a chair, and it's a sick bloody beating and the best shit this show has given us in an hour. AJ and Cage hit frog splashes on Abyss for a massive near fall. Cage and AJ try to climb out as they promised, but AJ is stopped as Cage is able to get out. AJ gets beaten to shit by the faces and bloodied as Tomko is taken out. Abyss kills AJ with the BHS on the glass to win.
**
Hype for the main event.
Joe makes his intro with the Polynesian dancers and it's a fantastic callback to far better times.
Karen comes out with her new boyfriend to sit at ringside
Match#9 Kurt Angle (c) vs Samoa Joe (c) (TNA Worlds Heavyweight Championship-TNA X-Division Championship-TNA World Tag Team Championships-IWGP Worlds Championship-WINNER TAKES ALL)
Standard Joe vs Angle start with Joe overpowering him and Kurt getting pissed as a result. it would be cool if this was 2006 and not 11 months after this fucking feud started and has been milked to death. We then move to comedy as Joe pulls Kurt's tights down to show his ass and everyone laughs at him, and like enough is enough. Karen then throws wine in his face when he gets too close, and Joe beats him up in classic fashion. It's good because Joe is still good, but it's nothing new in any respect and it's not worth writing thousands of words about. Kurt of course fires back with a gross headdrop German and some uppercuts because changing things is scary and wrong, and he would never do such a thing. They then trade the same stuff as always, suplexes, lariats, powerslams and slaps, finisher counters. THEE WHOLE DEAL. Joe hits the Muscle Buster and Kurt kicks out as finishers are't real as well know. Kurt takes out the ref on accident and Joe gets him in the choke and has it won, but yeah ref is dead. Karen jumps the rail with a chair and calls joe over for it, but she pulls it away as reaches it and laughs at him. Kurt chop blocks Joe and smacks him in the face with the title to win and kill Joe off for good.
3/4*
Post match, Kurt and Karen hug as the boyfriend claps for them, so i guess Kurt is into SOME stuff. Hey, good for him, i'm not judging.
Anyway, very awful show for the most part and a true showing of just how awful TNA has gotten in the last few months.
